When the thought of losing control terrifies you

When the thought of losing control terrifies you

The idea of losing control is terrifying for many. Deep down we believe that we need to be in control to survive so when our sense of control is threatens it can undermine our sense of safety and security. Many don't realise that a fear of flying is often linked to a...

Hate the thought of something growing inside?

Hate the thought of something growing inside?

The idea of something growing inside or having a baby move in the belly is the stuff of nightmares for many women. It’s not all angels singing and babies coo-ing when some women imagine pregnancy. For many it’s downright terrifying and this is often one of their...

The psychology of pain

The psychology of pain

Pain is interesting. At least I find it interesting. I guess that comes from my work in helping women prepare for pregnancy and birth, because pain comes up a lot! In fact it comes up too much in my opinion. More than it should do. And this is because a fear of pain...

5 reasons I hate hypnobirthing

5 reasons I hate hypnobirthing

This is part 2 and follows last week's blog Why I LOVE hypnobirthing.  Before I start I want you to understand WHY I’m writing this. If you are familiar with my Head Trash work, then you’ll know about the importance of opposites, and acknowledging the parts of us that...

5 reasons why I love hypnobirthing

5 reasons why I love hypnobirthing

Hypnobirthing has done so much for women and for birth since it breathed its way into our lives in the late 1980s. By combining birth education with tools and technique for coping with labour and getting the birthing partner involved, it has helped thousands, if not...

I don’t want kids – do I have tokophobia?

I don’t want kids – do I have tokophobia?

There seems to be a lot of confusion about what tokophobia IS and what it ISN’T which I’d like to clarify. At a very basic level tokophobia is this: the pathological fear or pregnancy and/or birth. But, this touches on so many other aspects that sometimes it gets...

Overcoming Tokophobia: it IS possible!

Overcoming Tokophobia: it IS possible!

Tokophobia is the extreme fear of pregnancy and birth. It affects around 14% of women so you would think that it was reasonably well known and that help was available. But it isn't, and help or support is hard to come by. Overcoming tokophobia is the kind of thing...

I’m scared of birth – what can I do?

I’m scared of birth – what can I do?

Feeling scared of birth is very common and is not necessarily something to worry about. It’s a time of massive change so it’s normal for us to feel fear on some level. Fear gets a bad rep, but actually it's a good thing. Our fear is alerting us to possible danger and...

Tokophobia. Everything you need to know

Tokophobia. Everything you need to know

What is tokophobia? Tokophobia is a pathological fear of pregnancy and birth. The word comes from Greek 'tokos' meaning childbirth and 'phobos' which means fear. Phobias are a type of anxiety disorder that typically involve an intensely irrational fear of an object or...

Post Natal Depression – can we guard against it?

Post Natal Depression – can we guard against it?

Do you want to know one the main things I was obsessed with when I was pregnant? Post Natal Depression or PND. When I think back to my darkest days, I could barely keep myself going. The thought of being in that state AND responsible for a little human being was...

Are you setting yourself up to ‘fail’ at birth?

Are you setting yourself up to ‘fail’ at birth?

Let me start by saying that I don’t believe in birth failure ... or that you can 'fail' at birth. But that doesn’t stop women everywhere saying that's how they FEEL. It’s tragic. Nurturing a new baby into the world with a sense of birth failure looming above you is...

How to prepare for birth disappointment

How to prepare for birth disappointment

When preparing for an upcoming birth, I always recommend preparing for more than one birth outcome. Two of these will inevitably include your preferred birth and your birth nightmare. In between both of these is a HUGE space that we can label as birth disappointment....