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Today’s episode is inspired by a listener Amanda. Amanda started listening to the podcast right at the beginning of her pregnancy and she emailed me to let me know how much she was enjoying listening to it. She excitedly shared her hopes and dreams around her pregnancy and birth and I remember feeling so priveleged that she was allowing me to accompany her on her journey. Then a few weeks later she shared with me that she miscarried. She was heartbroken and asked me to do a podcast on miscarriage. So here it is Amanda, here’s my podcast for you and everyone else who’s coping with a miscarraige.
Joining me to talk abourt coping with a miscarriage is Susie Gower. Susie is the lady behind Becoming Mama and she supports women from fertility to birth and she works with lots of women to support them through the aftermath of a miscarriage. She was inspired to start her business from her own miscarriage experience where she felt isolated and alone. Here’s a little bit more abotu Susie…
Susie Gower is a holistic fertility, pregnancy and birth mentor, qualified hypnotherapist, reflexologist and reiki master. Throughout her work she has always sought a deeper understanding of the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of conception, which lead her in 2009 to the Omega Institute in New York to train with the world-renowned psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss.
Susie started her fertility practice in Hertfordshire more than 10 years ago. The success that she and her clients have enjoyed over that time has earned her national recognition for her expertise in understanding the mind/body connection, and how emotions affect fertility. Susie regularly speaks at workshops on wellbeing and fertility issues and her articles are published in magazines such as Mother and Baby, Bella, Beauty magazine, Fertility Road, Herts Life. Susie belief in “giving back to the community” drove her to founding the Hertfordshire Fertility Support Group, and nationally she is a volunteer for Infertility Network UK.
A miscarriage can be a very lonely experience. Often the only other person who knows is the dad because we’ve chosen not to tell anyone our news for fear of experiencing this very thing. And yet, if we had shared our news early on, then we would not feel so alone and would be able to seek the support of those around us. Difficult times are made more difficult when we feel alone and unsupported so while I cannot promise to take away the loneliness of your experience, i hope to be able to provide you with support.
Coping with a miscarriage
During my conversation with Susie we talk about various aspects to coping with a miscarriage and the ensuing journey including;
- The typical emotional journey that comes with a miscarriage. While we may travel along this road at different paces the stop points tend to be very similar.
- Why you need to honour your emotions in the aftermath of a miscarriage and how you can best do this.
- I talk about the chakra mediation exercise that I used to help me to process my emotions.
- Susie shares how visualisations can help you move on and she talks about the little birdcage one, that tends to work for many people
- The importance of creating a farewell ceremony and how that might look for you
- The difference between holding onto the memory of your baby and the emotion of the experience, and why you don’t need to hold onto both
- Why we don’t share our pregnancies earlier than the 12 weeks BECAUSE of the miscarriage risk and shouldn’t this change?
- The importance of support groups online or locally
- The challenges of social media when it comes to pregnancy and miscarriages. Coping with the trauma of Facebook status updates.. how miscarriage sufferers usually stay
- How pregnant mums often remind them of the pain they’re going through, and how as a pregnant mum, you can be more mindful of how your actions might be affecting others.
- And finally, we finish by exploring other ways for you to think about your miscarriage experience that can help you to move on. Often by taking a more spiritual approach, or by simply asking the question “What positive has come from this experience?” you can think about your miscarriage differently which can help to alleviate the emotional pain
Resources mentioned during the podcast
Brian Weiss is the author Susie mentioned that she studied with. He wrote one of my fav0urite books, Many Lives, Many Masters and he provided Susie with a nice alternative perspective on how to view a miscarraige from the baby’s perspective.
I talked about David Chamberlain’s book, Babies Remember Birth (which is now available as “The Mind of your newborn baby” which inspired a previous podcast episode 7 ways that behaviour in your pregnancy affects your baby
Susie and I are both sharing some tools and exercises that can help you if you’re coping with a miscarriage in this week’s free download;
- Susie is sharing her Farewell Ceremony to help youi to let go and move on
- I’m sharing my Chakra cleansing and balancing exercise that helped me during my darkest days as I was coping with a miscarriage. This helped me to move on and let go of my painful emotions.
To get hold of both of these straight away, just click on the the box below.
- Pregnancy anxiety and COVID - 18th February 2021
- Should I wait until I’m pregnant to address my fears? - 11th January 2021
- When the thought of losing control terrifies you - 9th November 2020