Making the decision to tackle tokophobia is not always easy. It can be scary facing up to our biggest fears.
But once you’ve decided to, then you’re faced with another hurdle; deciding who you’d like to work with. And this isn’t always easy either.
Mainly because finding someone who understands how you feel AND who can help you is difficult. There aren’t many people who specialise in working with women who suffer from tokophobia. When you’ve found someone, them you need to figure out whether what they’re offering is right for you and whether this is a good fit for you.
I want to help you to decide whether what I offer and how I work is right for you.
In this post, I’m going to talk you through the various ways that I can support you in your journey in overcoming your tokophobia. There is something at every price level, and I wanted to explain each one in turn so that you can figure out which one is right for you, if any.
If after reading this, you’ll still not sure then you can book a free chat with me so that you can ask me any questions that I may not have answered below.
What does it take to overcome tokophobia?
Using my approach, overcoming tokophobia requires you to clear your fears, anxieties and emotional conflicts, one-by-one.
Because tokophobic fears tend to be more deep-rooted and stronger than those that most people have, a kick-ass emotional clearance technique is required. This is because the usual things that can help to reduce fear – like reading and learning more about something or positive thinking/reframing – just won’t work.
While there are many emotional clearance techniques out there, they are not all powerful enough to be able to have the required effect to eliminate tokophobia. Even hypnosis struggles with tokophobia. And, not all techniques work on everyone as we all respond differently, so really, it’s about using a combination of techniques that can do the job.
The final important piece in overcoming tokophobia is unpacking the fears and emotional conflicts. It’s hard to tick items off a to-do list if you don’t know what’s on your list. Similarly, it’s difficult to clear fears away if you don’t know which fears need to be cleared.
So, if you’ve decided that you want to overcome your tokophobia and you’re interested in my approach, what are your options? Well, let me talk you through them, one by one.
Option 1: Use my book Fearless Birthing
The book costs between $10-17 depending on wether you want the ebook or print version. The book comes with one fear-clearance meditation free (worth $18).
You can read the book and follow the instructions to clear your fears. Basically you list out your fears, anxieties and emotional conflicts, and clear them one-by one. My book provides the emotional clearance technique you can use to do this (the Head Trash Clearance Method™).
Good option because…
It’s affordable and it can get you results. Like this amazon reviewer says;
“I have tokophobia, and as my husband and I tried to family plan, I was adamant about adoption or surrogacy because the thought of carrying a child horrified me to tears. After a year of pursuing both options, we realized that it would not work for us. The thought of my husband never being a father weighed heavily on me, and I realized I had to at least try to address my fears. I’ve been listening to Alexia’s podcast and just bought her book.
Her method has helped a lot!
Shifting my thoughts from worst-case-scenarios to positive experiences and positive thoughts has allowed me to get to a place where I can seriously consider getting pregnant – and now have a tiny bit of excitement instead of overwhelming fear.
I KNOW I have a lot more work to do, but so far I could not have asked for better!”
You might not succeed because a book might not be enough for you. You need more; more information; more guidance; more support; more interaction and the opportunity to ask questions and get feedback.
And you might need help applying what you’ve read it to your personal situation.
It could be that you’re worried that you’re not doing it right. Or maybe you need help figuring out what fears and anxieties you need to clear, or perhaps you’re struggling to identify the emotional conflicts that are going on for you.
So maybe reading a book isn’t enough for you. Instead, you need;
- guidance to make sure you’re doing the clearance right
- help identifying your emotional conflicts
- the chance to ask questions and get advice on your personal situation
- support; because at times you might find it hard (not everyone finds facing up to their darkest fears easy)
- accountability; because sometimes you need a kick up the ass to keep going
If that’s the case, keep on reading.
Option 2: Join the Mama Ship
What is it ?
The Mama Ship is a membership site that offers mindset support for those on the journey to motherhood; from TTC and planning a pregnancy, through pregnancy, postpartum and beyond.
It’a $49 per month or $499 per year.
Find out more here: www.fearlessmamaship.com
The Mama Ship includes
- access to my Head Trash Clearance Method™ course [worth $249]
- lots of content (videos, audios and downloads) to help you at each stage of the journey to motherhood
- a dedicated mindset section which includes guidance on clearing pregnancy and birth related fears and anxieties as well as more general life fears and anxieties.
- a monthly group call with me where you can ask me questions and get support
- a community for you to connect with other members. This includes a dedicated Tokophobia Community forum
Good option because…
- It’s affordable.
- It has a focus (and lots of content) on tokophobia and mindset, including anxiety.
- There are lots of videos to show you how to use the Head Trash Clearance Method™ it so that you can be sure that you’re doing the clearance right.
- Lots of materials (videos, audios and downloads) to help you to identify your fears and emotional conflicts.
- Once a month you can join the group call to get your questions answered.
- The community forum offers you support from the community (and me) if you need it.
- You work at your own pace and it fits easily around other things in your life.
The personal support and guidance is limited. Even though you get the chance to your questions answered, this is limited to the monthly group call for all members and through the community forum. The Mama Ship membership doesn’t include private one-to-one support.
So if you think you need something more personal, then take a look at this option…
Option 3 – Join my Tokophobia Support Program
What is it?
An online program which combines online materials with one-to-one support. This includes 4 calls via Zoom and one-to-one email support throughout the program.
£399/ $519 – £599 / $770 (depending on whether you choose the group or the one-to-one option)
Find out more here: fearless-birthing.com/tokophobia-support-program/
Here’s what you get as part of this program;
Personalised one-to-one support
You can email me at any time to ask me questions or ask for feedback. I’m there to guide you along the way on your clearance journey to help keep you focused on those aspects that are more likely to get you the results you want.
4 x calls with me
We have 4 calls together where you get to share with me how you’re doing. If you’re struggling or stuck then I can help to get you going again. As you progress with your clearance, more clearance to-dos will emerge as we go deeper with the work. Through talking, I will be able to let you know new items for your clearance list for you to work on.
Your own personalised clearance list
This list includes the fears, anxieties and emotional conflicts you need to clear. When you join the program, you will receive a session prep book to fill in. Once you fill this in, you return it to me so that I can review and analyse your answers. I then use my findings to prepare your personalised clearance list. As we go through the program I add to this list as more things come up and the deeper you go with your work.
4 different emotional clearance techniques
While there is one technique that I recommend – the Head Trash Clearance Method ™ – I also share another 3 powerful clearance techniques with you do that you have a bunch of different ones to use. This improves your chances of success. And there is no need to worry “what if this technique doesn’t work on me?”
5 x fear-clearance meditations
This program includes five fear-clearance meditations that you can listen to straightaway. This means that you can make an immediate start on your clearance and start noticing shifts quickly.
You get a mix of videos, audios and downloadable PDFs
The resources included in this program are a mix of different formats and are there to help you master the emotional clearance techniques I share with you. This is so that you have confidence and KNOW you’re doing them right.
There are two options for this program;
The 4 calls in this program are just you and me. They last around 45 minutes and are carried out via Zoom or Skype. We have our calls every 1-2 weeks so that once we start we can maintain the momentum.
This is very similar to the group program, but instead the calls are one-to-one. This means that you can have more flexibility around the time and frequency of the calls. It also means that you can choose to work at a pace that suits you.
I only take on a small number of clients every two months so if you’re interested in this option, then it’s best to get onto the waiting list and reserve your spot.
This group program runs a few times a year and usually includes a small number of people from all over the world.
The calls are weekly and are carried out via zoom. Once everyone has been confirmed on the program, everyone is asked for suitable time slots. Then a time is chosen that suits everyone and the same time is chosen for each of the weekly calls.
If you’re interested in the group program then you can pre-book to reserve your slot. This means that you can start doing the clearance work straightaway. If you’re interested in this then email me to let me know so that I can let you know the next dates for the program.
Option 4 – Join my Tokophobia Co-clearance program
What is it?
An online program which combines online materials with one-to-one therapy and support. This includes 5 therapy sessions (10+ hours) via Zoom alongside 3 months of one-to-one email support.
This program offers an increased level of guidance and support for those who feel they need it.
Find out more here: fearless-birthing.com/tokophobia-support-program/
So, what’s different?
The calls are LONGER
In the Support Program, you are the one doing the clearance work. So the calls are there for us to review where you’re at and for me to offer you guidance, direction and support on your clearance journey. This means our calls are around 45 mins.
In the co-clearance program we are both doing clearance work so the calls are much longer. During the calls I’m doing clearance (acting as your therapist) with you as well as finding out from you how you’re getting on. These sessions last 2 hours (sometimes longer if needed).
You get MORE calls
Instead of 4 x 45 mins calls, you get 5 x 2-hour calls. This means that we are able to spend a lot more time doing clearance which means we go much deeper with the work we are doing and we can get more done. So if you have anxiety for example, then we have time to be able to look at that too.
You get an extended period of email support
When you sign up for the Tokophobia Co-Clearance program you receive 3 months of email support, compared to 1 month of support for the Tokophobia Support Program.
Continued support for another 6 months
When you sign up to the Co-Clearance program, you also get 6 months membership to the Fearless Mama Ship. This is my membership site that offers mindset support for the journey to motherhood. It includes lots of content to help you to prepare for pregnancy, birth and motherhood as well as monthly calls and a community. This means that you can continue to have access to me and my mindset support as you continue your journey towards motherhood.
If you get pregnant then it includes lots of birth prep support. But, overcoming tokophobia doesn’t always lead to pregnancy straightaway, there might be fertility issues to overcome or on ongoing need to reduce stress and anxiety. The Mama Ship can provide you with a community to help you on this onward journey and you can join the monthly calls with me if you have questions you need to help with.
Would you like to hop on a call to discuss your options?
If you’d like to hop on a call to ask me some questions, or see if we’d be a good fit, then you can. Just use the link below to book some time for a chat.
I look forward to it!
Alexia supports families planning pregnancy and birth. She helps them to overcome their fears and feel calm and confident about birth and pregnancy.
Alexia also trains birth professionals in the Fearless Birthing, a unique approach to birth preparation that is ideal for those who have fears around birth.