My Tokophobia Support Group program is the group version of my Tokophobia Support Program.
What is Tokophobia Support Group program?
It’s an online program where I personally support you in overcoming tokophobia to that you can look forward to pregnancy and birth free of your fear.
This program combines online materials – videos, audios and downloads – with calls over a period of around a month. During that time I guide and support you as you clear the fears and emotional conflicts that are contributing to your tokophobia. I do that through regular calls and email support.
For the group program, all the calls are attended by everyone who is taking part in the group program. We have them every week for a month.
For the one-to-one version of this program, the calls are at a time that suits and the pace be adjusted to fit around other life commitments. It can be also be extended beyond a month if required.
Are you a great fit for the group program?
In the time that I’ve been running the group program, it’s become clear to me who makes a great fit for the program. And by that I mean those who are likely to experience the success they want; to be free of tokophobia.
I really want this for you and I don’t want to waste your time or mine on something that is not going to work. I have a great success rate and I don’t want to tarnish that by having people who don’t get results. So this means if you’re not a great fit then I’lll tell you.
Here is who would be a great fit for this group program.
You’re scared of pregnancy and/or birth
Some people find pregnancy terrifying whereas others are scared by the thought of birth. And there are some who hate the thought of both. This program is for anyone who experiences a high level of fear when it comes to birth or pregnancy.
You don’t necessarily need to have been officially diagnosed with tokophobia.
Only you know how strong your fear is. If your level of fear is contributing to you wanting to avoid pregnancy or birth, keeping you up at night, or triggering panic attacks, then the chances are that this program will be right for you.
You want to overcome tokophobia
I realise this might seem obvious to some, but it needs saying. Some people want what’s on the other side of their fear – be a parent, have kids etc – but they don’t want to change how they feel about pregnancy or birth. If you don’t want to change how you feel, then this is not for you.
That is not to say that you KNOW what you want beyond getting rid of your tokophobia. Some people don’t. Their tokophobia is getting in the way of them knowing what they want.
You might find once you clear your tokophobia that you don’t want kids. Or that you do, and that surrogacy is the way to go for you. I’m not precious about what you choose to do once you clear this from your life. I just want you help you to be free of it.
You want to do this with others who feel the same
Some like the thought of being with others on this journey. It can help them to feel like they’re not alone in feeling like this. It can also be motivating to be doing something in group. You can get carried along by other people’s momentum and get support from them when at times you might be struggling.
If on the other hand, you’d prefer not to share your inner feelings with others, or that you’d prefer to work at your own pace, then the group program probably isn’t right for you. You would be better off doing the one-to-one version of this program.
You have primary tokophobia
There are two types of tokophobia; primary and secondary. Primary is when you have not previously experienced giving birth. Secondary tokophobia is when you have experienced birth. It’s often (not always) linked to a difficult or traumatic birth experience, where the previous birth is contributing to the fear being experienced.
This program is for those with primary tokophobia. The reason for that is because secondary tokophobia will more than likely have a trauma element that would need to be explored. This is best done in a one-to-one setting and therefore not suitable for a group program.
You’re willing to put time and effort into freeing yourself from tokophobia
This program requires you to take an active role in the clearance of your fears and emotional conflicts. At the beginning of the program I prepare your personalised clearance list which you use as your ’to-do’ list. As a result from doing the clearance work and from having our regular updates together, I will add to this list during the program.
Typically the people on this program have between 10 and 25 things on their list. Each ’thing’ takes around 30-60 minutes to clear. This means that you will need to spend at least 10 hours doing the work. If you’re not prepared to do this, then this program is not for you.
Some prefer me to be the one that does this work, but that would require booking at least £2000 worth of private sessions with me.
You like the idea me kicking your butt to get this sorted
The thing with our biggest fears is that they can turn us into expert procrastinators. We can go for years avoiding dealing with them. Sometimes, a massive deadline can force us into action. Being pregnant was my deadline. But maybe that’s too drastic for you. In which case, having me kicking your butt might be the next best thing.
You’re not on medication for mental health conditions
I’m referring to medication for anxiety for example. In this situation, the requirement of medication indicates a level of anxiety that is higher than for those who DON’T take medication. The presence of a high-level of anxiety will slow down the tokophobia clearance. This means that someone on medication will probably need more time and personalised attention than is available on a group program. So, it’s not fair to you or the others on the program.
Anxiety and tokophobia
Anxiety has a habit of feeding the tokophobia and vice versa. If you have anxiety AND tokophobia then you have two mental health clearance projects on the list. Perhaps a metaphor would be easier to explain…
Imagine you’re doing up a house you just bought. You decide that you need to get rid of that shocking wallpaper that the precious owners put up. So you budget (time and money) for new wallpaper. You strip the old wallpaper down to find that it was actually holding the walls up. All the plaster is crumbling away! Now, you need to re-plaster the walls AND re-paper them; TWO projects. This is going to take longer than you thought.
A similar situation is going on with anxiety and tokophobia. We just need more time to do the necessary work. I’d recommend tackling the anxiety first. Although sometimes it’s the tokophobia that’s feeding the anxiety so doing that first might be best. Either way, you have two jobs on your hands. My group program does not cater for doing two jobs; there just isn’t enough time.
In my experience, the absence of medication means people will be able to clear their tokophobia in a month. Those who take medication generally need longer. I want people to get results from working with me i.e. NO TOKOPHOBIA by the time we get to the end of our time together. If people don’t get results then they might start telling people that my stuff doesn’t work and that isn’t the case.
I’m simply very clear on the conditions required for success using my approach. I know it’s not for everyone and I don’t want you to waste your time or money if that is you.
If you’re on medication and would like me to support you in overcoming tokophobia, then my one-to-one services will probably be more appropriate. But it’s difficult for me to say for sure until I know more about your personal situation. I’m more than happy to jump on a call to talk this through with you if you like.
You’re happy to wait until the next opening of the program
The group program only runs a few times a year. If you’re happy to wait until the next opening, then fabulous! If you really want to get your situation sorted before then, then it might not be right for you.