Tokophobia Success Stories

The best part of running my Tokophobia Support Program is hearing the stories of women who are now no longer afraid.

Losing the fear can mean different things to different people. For some it means being able to seriously contemplate pregnancy or motherhood for the first time, or being able to decide that they DO want kids. Up until that point the fear prevented them from truly knowing what they wanted. For others it can mean letting their partner know that YES they are happy trying to start a family, where up until that point the idea of sex and getting pregnant was too difficult for them. And for others it might simply mean just being at peace with something that has plagued them for years.

Overcoming your fears doesn’t automatically mean you will go on to have a family. It means you get to decide what the right path is for you. And that when you decide, you trust your decision.

For those who are pregnant, losing the fear can mean that they are now able to enjoy the pregnancy and decide on what kind of birth they want. This could mean changing their birth plan from a c-section to a vaginal birth, or it could simply mean approaching their c-section without fear. Our fears force decisions onto us. When we are free of fear, we are free to choose and make a decision that we can live with.

Here are some of the women I’ve supported on this journey.

 

Heather’s Story

“Since getting married recently I have been in a real dilemma about having children due to the terror I felt around pregnancy and childbirth which I’ve had for as long as I can remember. Before working with Alexia I always felt that I just didn’t like children. But my husband was really keen to start a family.

I tried to uncover whether I really didn’t want a family or if this was my fear. I’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone as it made me feel stupid, as if there was something wrong with me. I felt so alone with this fear on top of the decision I had to make.  And time ticking by so when I came across Alexia’s book ‘Fearless Birthing’ and her podcasts I felt like I’d finally found someone who understood exactly what was in my head.

With Alexia because I felt like I wouldn’t be seen as crazy, that she understood tokophobia – it was as if bits of her book were written about me!

Having completed the Tokophobia Support Program I finally feel as if I am not alone.

The group support made me feel so much better.  Hearing others who shared and understood my fears was invaluable. I have to admit, that being an extremely logical, sceptical person, I was very hesitant to sign up to the course.  Even when practising the techniques that Alexia shares, I really could not understand how they were working, only that they did work to my amazement.

I would never have advocated this type of approach before trying it myself but I have to admit I was wrong. Although I am still not pregnant and have not quite reached the last hurdle yet of overcoming my phobia of childbirth itself, I am so much further along the road than I was when I started four weeks ago.

Given that I have had this my whole life and been in therapy for a lot longer than four weeks in the past, I am extremely happy with my progress so far.

My husband says it’s the best money we have ever spent. He has noticed a visible difference in me, I’m so much calmer and sleeping better as a result of the work so far.

The techniques Alexia shares have stopped my head churning. I used to wake in the middle of the night with panic attacks due to how overwhelmed I felt thinking about having children. I can confirm that I have not felt like this since starting the program which is a huge relief.

There are so many people online offering ‘magical cures’ and it’s hard to know who to believe. All I can tell you is that I am a psychotherapist and am used to working with people with phobias in a completely different way to Alexia so I took a chance on this program but I am so, so glad I did.

Alexia is the most genuine, interested and helpful therapist/coach because she cuts right to the heart of the issue to get the best results.

I would have no hesitation in recommending this course if you are willing to follow the program and put in the work. Alexia is there to support and offer excellent, relevant guidance throughout. I very much appreciate her quick responses as I think working solely online, can sometimes leave you feeling a little disconnected. However, I felt as if I knew Alexia very quickly as she was always on hand to offer encouragement and suggestions from her vast knowledge of overcoming Tokophobia.

It may seem like a big investment but it’s actually very reasonable in terms of how much you can spend on therapy over the course of months or years and I can’t put a price on the peace of mind I have gained and the sense of mastery over something I initially thought was incurable. As a true sceptic, and someone with the most overwhelming fear of pregnancy and birth, this is most certainly money well spent.”

Milena’s Story

“From visceral, deep-rooted fear to elation!

It seems impossible to even imagine that I used to be completely engulfed by tokophobia – an extreme fear of birthing – that would cause me to get nauseous, tighten up and cry when watching even a short clip of another woman having a baby, let alone the very idea of going into labour myself. Neither rationalising my phobia nor educating myself about the birthing process would lessen tokophobia’s grip. I felt doomed, helpless and ashamed of being this way until taking part in Alexia Leachman’s Tokophobia Webinar gave me hope.

Fast forward less than a week, and I was enrolled in her group course “Tokophobia Support” which gave me access to excellent online resources, as well as, most importantly, weekly group calls and continuous guidance and encouragement from Alexia.

I dived into very challenging yet satisfying work, desperate for at least some respite from being tokophobic. The pre-recorded clearance meditations shook me to the depth of my being, left me soaked in tears and absolutely exhausted as the toxic emotions were leaving my body, yet brought immediate relief and clarity. I began to unravel the tight knot of traumas, fears and beliefs that I had about birth and was able to create my own meditations to tackle the above one by one. Incredibly,

I started to get a little buzz out of those sessions that would then lighten me up, energise me and give me a completely new perspective on some very touchy subjects.

Three weeks in and I was clear of tokophobia! Even during the first week of coaching, I was able to walk through a maternity clothing shop without holding my breath, come to a prenatal yoga class and begin to embrace the changes happening to my over-12-weeks pregnant body. My whole experience shifted dramatically toward genuine curiosity, gratitude and elation!

I now feel that I am the mother my baby needs me to be – strong, resilient, positive and, above all, caring and loving ? Who would have thought that I could feel genuinely excited about the Big Day and look forward to bringing my sweet little baby into the world?!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Alexia!”

Jane’s Story

“I have known for a long time that I had tokophobia. I knew I wanted a family but couldn’t think about being pregnant without having strong anxiety and panic attacks. I was petrified of being pregnant. I can only describe it as a crazy hurricane in my head whenever I thought about pregnancy.

I did a lot of research and there is not a lot of information about treatment options on the NHS websites. I found Alexia’s website and did a lot of reading here, joined the Facebook group and booked a call with Alexia. It was lovely to chat with her, she really understood what I was saying and I thought this really is worth a go!

I found it really easy and lovely to work with Alexia and we uncovered things I was anxious about that I could have never thought I would be anxious about. I found the methods really easy to use, and Alexia was really helpful in guiding me with this.

I noticed I was starting to feel calmer and more relaxed when thinking about pregnancy.

The craziness has gone and I feel calm. I feel excited now to think about my future with a family and even excited to be trying for a pregnancy. I found the resources on the website really helpful and the head trash clearance technique easy to follow.

I am really glad I started to work with Alexia, I feel in such a better place now.”

 

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