I’ve always been fascinated by the pregnancy journey and what it forces us as women to face up to. We are forced to confront many of our fears on the pregnancy and birth journey. Many women use this as an opportunity to do some incredible inner work to give them the strength and courage to be able to handle this momentous life transition.
I was one of these, as are many of my audience. I’ve had so many emails from women over the years saying how much the inner work they were called to do during pregnancy has transformed their lives.
Like Heather…
… Now I’ve become very vocal about birth and pregnancy because this has changed my life!
I want other women to know more too!I’m looking at doing birth coaching just to help women be able to love their journeys more!..
Even though birth work is no longer my primary focus, I still work with a lot of with women to support them on their pregnancy and birth journey, so this is never far from my day to day life.
Recently, I’ve been further developing my fear clearance method (Head Trash Clearance) and as part of this I developed a trauma healing process. This enabled me to experience massive personal change, in the way that my fear clearance work did back when I was suffering from tokophobia.
The Map of Consciousness tool
It was while doing this that I stumbled upon the work of Dr David R Hawkins and his Map of Consciousness tool. I’ve blogged about it on my Head Trash site here.
READ THE BLOG: Emotional Healing and the Map of Consciousness
Since discovering the David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness last year, I’ve been working very closely with it and have integrated it into many aspects of my work.
One of the very first things I did was to take readings of my own levels of consciousness at specific points during my life.
I wanted to know TWO things
I was curious and really wanted to know two things;
- How has my own level of consciousness shifted over the years?
- What has made it go up or down?
If something works, you can double-down on it. And stop doing the things that don’t!
This has been a very interesting thing to dive into, especially for my pregnancy journey so I’d thought I’d share.
How my consciousness was affected by my pregnancy journey
If you’re familiar with my story, you’ll know this. But for those who don’t…
I used to have tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy and birth). I didn’t know I suffered from this until after I gave birth because I didn’t know that tokophobia was a Thing. So while I was in the throws of suffering with it, I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I was. I just thought I was a bit of a lost cause and a bit messed up. It was my fear of pregnancy and birth that propelled me into healing my depression, anxiety and fears.
What I wanted – NEEDED – was to find a way to heal myself quickly so that I could birth my baby free of fear. This was when the DIY version of Head Trash Clearance was born.
So I decided to revisit this experience through the lens of the Map of Consciousness, and it’s VERY interesting!
Before I go any further, I’m going to share with you a chart showing the various levels on the Map of Consciousness so that you can have a better understanding as to what I’m talking about. This is because I’m going to be sharing with you the various levels I moved through as I was healing my fears. Each level has a numerical value and a corresponding feeling or emotion, and view of the world.
This chart also shows how each level correlates with the levels on the Head Trash Ladder of Healing. You can read more about the Ladder of Healing in my blog on my Head Trash site here:
READ BLOG: Ladder of Healing
If you want to find out your position on the Ladder of Healing, then you can do my quiz over here.
OK, let’s begin!
Now, before I found out I was pregnant, I was fairing pretty badly. My mother had not long died very suddenly to cancer, and I was till wrestling with lots of grief. I would float in and out of depressive episodes and was an anxious mess. I calibrated around 180.
How extreme phobia showed up
When I found out I was pregnant for the first time I dropped to 162 from the 180s I had been floating at for a while. I lost the baby at 8 weeks. Most women would be gutted about this, I was relieved.
This was my first clue that something was not right in my head but I still didn’t know about the tokophobia condition. However, soon after the miscarriage, I calibrated at 174. So the anxiety and fear I felt at being pregnant lowered my consciousness. And the minute that I was no longer facing this, I was able to recover slightly.
As a result of feeling relief at a miscarriage I decided to take a hard look at myself and try and sort myself out. So I tackled my anxieties and started doing inner work using Head Trash Clearance.
I spent the next year working on those aspects of myself that were contributing to my anxiety.
My jump into Courage
By the time I found out I was pregnant again a year later, my level of consciousness had risen to 203. I had managed to lift myself into the frequency of courage.
So despite still feeling super fearful about being pregnant and birth (and determined to have a c-section), I now felt like I could deal with it. I had the courage to face it, whereas before I was drowning in fear and desperately wanted to NOT be pregnant. This time around, I also felt empowered “I can do this” and this gave me the impetus to continue on the journey I’d set for myself.
This courage meant that by the time I reached the end of my first trimester, I decided that I would try and clear my pregnancy and birth fears myself. Given that I had no idea what I was doing, and that I never done this before, that was some courage! This was when I started using an early DIY version of Head Trash Clearance.
My leap into Willingness
By the seventh month of pregnancy my level of consciousness had risen to 303. So in just over two months I had gone from 200 to 300.
This represented quite a shift in perspective because now I was calibrating near the frequency of willingness. It was at this time that I ditched my c-section-with-all-the-drugs plan and decided to go for a home birth. Quite a turnaround!
300 marks the frequency of optimism and this was now how I was now viewing my situation “It’s going to be fine”.
By the time the birth came around I had solidified this feeling in me and went into my home birth excited and confident. This is something that I never imagined I could ever experience.
The healing continued to raise my consciousness
As a new mother I continued to use Head Trash Clearance on many aspects of my life – parenting, business, confidence etc – so by the time my second daughter arrived a few years later, my level of consciousness had risen to around 460.
Since I dived into healing my unresolved traumas and other childhood wounds, the leaps are even more spectacular and I’m going to be sharing the details of this in another blog.
Interestingly, the level of consciousness of my daughters matched my level at the time of their birth. So both of my daughters benefited from the inner work I did during my pregnancies, and my second daughter benefited from the continued inner work I did since my first pregnancy.
I’m not sure whether this is something that always happens, but it’s been my journey.
Now, I’m a visual person and I was itching to see all this in graph form. I know, I’m a total geek, right! Be honest, you were curious too!
Well, here is the graph of my pregnancy journey in terms of consciousness:
If you want to do the same for your pregnancy journey, or indeed any other ‘interesting’ chapter of your life, then simply take a calibration reading for that moment in time.
To find out how to take a reading, I share a video of Dr Hawkins doing a demonstration on this blog post: Emotional Healing with the Map of Consciousness
How healing changes your perspective
What’s interesting is that the more Head Trash Clearance I did, the more I was able to let go of the emotional patterns that kept me at a lower level of consciousness. I became less fearful, less anxious and less depressed.
Our level of consciousness informs how we see the world. The same situation can be viewed very differently depending on what level you’re at. Carolyn Myss talks about this using the metaphor of an apartment building in New York. While you might still live at the same address, once you move to the 6th floor you have a very different view and perspective than when you lived on the ground floor with all the street noise and chaos. On the 6th floor you get to see the park and the river in the distance, and the street noise has virtually gone. And if you rise to the Penthouse, then it feels and looks very different again.
Pregnancy for me went from something that was completely unbearable and terrifying, to something I felt I could handle; I had a different perspective on it. And, with each little step I took, it gave me the strength to take the next step; each increase powered the next increase.
If you’re struggling with where you’re at in your life, then doing something as simple as a daily or weekly Head Trash Clearance practice can help you to shift your perspective and reality to change things for you quite drastically in a very short amount of time. With a new perspective, you’re able to view your situation differently. It could be that your new perspective illuminates options for you that you simply could not see before. I see this happen a lot with my clients.
One lady in my self-healing membership, The Clearance Club, was able to heal herself of her depression and tokophobia in TWO months with a daily Head Trash Clearance habit. Two months?? And, it cost her less than $100!
Massive life change doesn’t have to cost the earth, but sometimes it takes effort. And it’s good to know that the strength for this effort will simply appear with every step.
How has your level of consciousness changed during your life?
I’d like to invite you to take a renewed look at your life and some of the situations you are going through. Perhaps if you had a different perspective on them, you would find a way through more easily.
Or, like me, you could look back at past life chapters and see how your own level of consciousness has changed, and what had an impact on it. When you know what works in your life, you can double-down on it, just as you can stop putting your time effort and resources into things that don’t work for you.
I’m going to be sitting down with people to revisit significant chapters in their life through the lens of the Map of Consciousness for future blog posts, videos and podcasts. If you’re interested in doing this, please get in touch.
Alexia supports families planning pregnancy and birth. She helps them to overcome their fears and feel calm and confident about birth and pregnancy.
Alexia also trains birth professionals in the Fearless Birthing, a unique approach to birth preparation that is ideal for those who have fears around birth.
- When Fear Takes Over: The Abortions We Don’t Talk About - 30th September 2025
- Tokophobia and Relationships - 22nd July 2025
- I Thought I Was Just Anxious — Until I Learned What Tokophobia Was - 17th July 2025
