If you struggle with the idea of pregnancy or birth—whether that’s full-blown tokophobia or just a deep unease—you’ve probably spent time wondering:
Why do I feel this way?
Maybe you’ve never had a traumatic experience related to birth.
Maybe you haven’t heard any horror stories.
Maybe you don’t even know where this fear is coming from.
And yet, it’s there. Strong. Unshakable.
But here’s something most people don’t realise:
The way YOU were born could be shaping the way you feel about birth today.
Your First Birth Experience Was Your Own
Before you were ever pregnant, before you even thought about having children, your body and mind already carried a birth story.
Because your first birth experience… was your own.
The way you came into the world—your own journey from womb to world—has left an imprint on you. And that imprint could be influencing how you feel about pregnancy and birth now.
How Your Own Birth Shapes Your Beliefs About Birth
Think about it:
- Were you born via C-section or vaginal birth?
- Was your birth traumatic for your mother?
- Did you experience medical interventions?
- Were you separated from your mother immediately after birth?
- Did your mother experience stress, anxiety, or fear while pregnant with you?
Even though you don’t consciously remember your birth, your body does.
Your nervous system was shaped by it. The way you process stress and fear was influenced by it. And now, as an adult, your subconscious may associate birth with those same emotions—without you even realising it.
This isn’t just a theory. Studies on pre- and perinatal psychology show that early experiences, even from the womb, shape our nervous system development and our core beliefs about safety, control, and survival. I chatted to Dr. Thomas Verny all about this on the podcast. He’s only the Father of Pre-natal Pyschology! Listen to that here
Birth Fears Are Often About More Than Just Birth
Many women assume their fear of pregnancy and birth is about what might happen in the future. But in reality, it’s often about something that has already happened.
If your own birth was difficult, your subconscious may interpret birth as something dangerous, stressful, or even life-threatening.
And if your mother was anxious, scared, or overwhelmed while pregnant with you, your nervous system may have absorbed that, too.
This is why birth fears and tokophobia often feel so deep. They aren’t just about birth itself. They’re about long-held patterns of fear, anxiety, and trauma that have been imprinted since before you were even born.
What Can You Do About It?
If this is resonating, here’s the good news:
You don’t have to stay stuck in this fear.
Once you understand that your fear of pregnancy or birth isn’t random—that it has roots, and those roots can be healed—you can start moving forward.
This isn’t about forcing yourself to “get over it” or just pushing through.
It’s about clearing the deep-seated fears and trauma responses that are holding you back.
And when you do?
Pregnancy, birth, and even motherhood itself can start to feel completely different.
So if you’ve ever felt like your fear of birth is bigger than you can explain…
If it feels like it’s coming from somewhere but you don’t know where…
If it feels like it’s always been there…
Maybe it has.
Maybe it’s been with you since birth.
But it doesn’t have to stay.
Alexia supports families planning pregnancy and birth. She helps them to overcome their fears and feel calm and confident about birth and pregnancy.
Alexia also trains birth professionals in the Fearless Birthing, a unique approach to birth preparation that is ideal for those who have fears around birth.
- In-Utero & Birth Imprint Trauma: The Hidden Factor Shaping Pregnancy Anxiety, Birth Fears, and Beyond - 14th February 2025
- Could Your Own Birth Be Shaping Your Fears About Pregnancy and Birth? - 12th February 2025
- We’ve Got Tokophobia All Wrong – And It’s Hurting Women - 12th February 2025
