Clearing fears – Amber’s story
Alexia cleared her own tokophobia and developed a method that has helped women clear theirs for more than 10 years.
Feeling some fear about pregnancy or birth is normal; studies suggest most women do. But fears vary. Some are low-level and easy to bat away, while others can be really troubling. Whatever level of fear you have, Head Trash Clearance may help.
Head Trash Clearance is a fear-clearance tool that I developed during my own pregnancies and used to overcome my own phobia around birth. I share it in my book Fearless Birthing and I teach you how to apply it to birth and pregnancy in my Fearless Birthing online course. It’s what I use with my clients and what I teach to doulas and midwives as part of my Fearless Birthing Training.
Some people find it hard to believe fears can be cleared, as if it’s too good to be true. So I thought I’d share Amber’s story of using it as part of her birth preparation, and you can decide for yourself whether it’s something you’d like to try.
What drew you to Fear Free Childbirth in the first place?
I discovered your Fear Free Childbirth podcast when I was pregnant and I had started researching what I needed to do to stay healthy during my pregnancy, and how I could prepare for giving birth. Shortly after finding out I was pregnant, I saw my family doctor who told me about my options for choosing a health care provider for my birth. I could choose between an OB-GYN, a midwife, or a family doctor. I ended up choosing a midwife, which would mean that there was a higher likelihood of having an unmedicated delivery.
I had always seen myself as getting an epidural for the labour and birth, so it was a new concept to me that I could give birth naturally, without pain medication. When I started listening to your podcast, which discussed pain-free birth, I was curious to find out about that possibility. The things you discussed really resonated with me, that giving birth is a natural thing, it should not be so painful or scary.
How did you feel about pregnancy and birth at the beginning of pregnancy?
In the beginning, I was excited, but also scared of miscarrying, since I knew that it was very common early on in pregnancy. Once I had the ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, I was very excited, but I was apprehensive about the birth. Since it was my first pregnancy, I had never experienced giving birth, and I had never witnessed it in person. I wasn’t overly fearful, but I didn’t know exactly what to expect when giving birth, so that made me a bit anxious.
My fears changed somewhat throughout my pregnancy. As I got further along, I was scared of something happening and causing early labour, or having a stillborn baby (after reading about such stories, mainly on social media). I also feared having bad tearing, and loss of dignity during the birth (like pooping, haha, cause I knew that most women did that).
At what point did you decide to clear your fears?
I decided to clear my fears after having listened to your podcast for a while. The testimonials about it were very convincing, and it sounded like a great way to prepare for the birth (I also listened to some hypnobirthing meditations). I still had the fears above, and I had decided to try to have an un-medicated birth, so I figured the more prepared I was, the better.
At what point was this in your pregnancy?
I can’t remember exactly, but sometime around 30 weeks, maybe a bit later. I felt like I had procrastinated a bit in starting.
What fears did you tackle using Head Trash Clearance?
The main fears that I had were
- fear of the intense pain
- fear of my baby being stillborn
- fear of loss of dignity
- fear of tearing
- fear of the ring of fire
- fear of needing an emergency caesarean
What was your experience of clearing your fears like?
It was good, but I had procrastinated in doing it, and I was doing it in the evening, when I was usually feeling very tired. So, sometimes I would almost fall asleep while doing it. If I could do it again, I would start earlier on in the pregnancy, and spread it out over a longer period of time.
How did you feel about your fears after clearing them?
I did feel better about them after clearing them.
How long did it take you to clear your fears?
Clearing one thing would take me about 10 minutes, it took a bit longer than I anticipated to clear all the fears that I had decided on because as I mentioned before, sometimes I would almost fall asleep while doing it.
How long did you spend over the pregnancy clearing your fears?
I left it till later on in the pregnancy, so I spent maybe 2-3 weeks working on clearing the fears.
How do you think using Head Trash Clearance helped you?
It definitely helped me to clear the fears I had about giving birth. I was not afraid of any of those things while I was in labour and giving birth, and I had the natural birth that I had wanted, without epidural.
What did you do alongside clearing fears that you believe helped you to achieve your positive birth experience?
I had listened to (free) hypnobirthing playlists, I read books, like Ina May’s guide to Childbirth, and I listened to your Fear Free birthing podcast.
Would you like to clear your pregnancy and birth fears?
To clear a fear you first need to identify WHAT you’re clearing; what is the piece of head trash you want to get rid of?
It could be
- injections or needles
- pain
- losing control
Once you’ve identified the fear you want to clear, you need ONE of the following:
1. The Head Trash Clearance mantras
This is the script you use to do the clearance. I show you how to prepare this script yourself in my book Fearless Birthing.
2. Fear clearance audio track
I’ve created a number of fear clearance audio tracks (paid). They’re MP3s of me saying the Head Trash Clearance mantras, a bit like having a session with me, so all you need to do is sit back and listen. You listen to each track as many times as you need to, which for many people is two or three times.
To browse the Fearless Birthing Clearance Tracks that are currently available to buy individually, head over to the shop.
3. Work with a Fearless Birthing or Head Trash Clearance practitioner
You can work with me (or someone that I’ve trained in Fearless Birthing or Head Trash Clearance). If you would like us to work together, head over here to find out more.
Fear Free Childbirth is a publication and is not a substitute for medical or mental-health care. If you’re struggling to cope or in crisis, please contact your GP, midwife or a qualified professional.
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- Thousands of Mothers May Be Living With Undiagnosed PTSD After Childbirth - 16th October 2026
