For years, I thought I was just “bad at life.”
I felt anxious.
Disconnected.
Like something was always a bit off.
And yet… I couldn’t quite explain why.
I wasn’t broken. But I was barely coping.
And then I saw two pink lines on a pregnancy test.
What happened next felt like falling off an emotional cliff.
Terror. Confusion. Grief. Panic.
It was like something exploded inside me.
I now call that moment “the split” — the moment where Reproductive Anxiety Disorder fully activated in my system.
Back then, I didn’t know that name.
All I knew was: I couldn’t carry on being pregnant.
And I didn’t understand why.
For many women, anxiety isn’t just about life — it’s about reproduction
It’s not just fear of birth.
It’s not just not liking kids.
It’s not “just hormones.”
It’s a very specific form of anxiety that wakes up during:
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Puberty
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Fertility decisions
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Pregnancy
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Motherhood
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Menopause
I’ve worked with hundreds of women who’ve all said the same thing:
“I didn’t even realise I was avoiding it.”
“I didn’t know this was a thing.”
“I thought it was just me.”
So I started giving it a name.
I call it Reproductive Anxiety Disorder — and I believe it’s the mother of anxiety.
What it can look like:
💭 Feeling triggered by baby talk or pregnancy announcements
💭 Wanting a family but panicking at the idea of being pregnant
💭 Shutting down emotionally during fertility or postpartum journeys
💭 Fearing sex, intimacy, or your own body
💭 Feeling more anxious in perimenopause — and not knowing why
Many of these experiences are written off as “just anxiety” or “just hormones.”
But what if they’re not?
What if there’s something deeper going on?
Naming it changes everything
When I realised that the fear I was experiencing had a pattern — and that I wasn’t the only one — everything changed.
I wasn’t broken.
I wasn’t dramatic.
I wasn’t “just anxious.”
I was carrying something no one had helped me name.
And once I started naming it — I could start healing it.
Now I help women all over the world do the same.
You might never have heard of RAD — but you might be living with it.
I recently wrote an article about this on LinkedIn, and it’s already started shifting conversations for women, partners, and professionals.
If you’ve ever felt like:
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“Anxiety just follows me everywhere”
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“My fear of pregnancy is ruining everything”
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“I should be over this by now”
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“Why am I falling apart in perimenopause?”
…then I want you to read it.
Because I believe you deserve answers.
You deserve relief.
You deserve to feel whole again.
And if it resonates, please share it.
You never know who might finally find the words they’ve been looking for.
With love,
Alexia x
🧡 If you want help healing this…
✨ I’ve got resources for you.
🎧 You can also listen to the Tik-Tokophobia podcast — where I dive deep into these themes and share the stories we’ve all been carrying.
Alexia supports families planning pregnancy and birth. She helps them to overcome their fears and feel calm and confident about birth and pregnancy.
Alexia also trains birth professionals in the Fearless Birthing, a unique approach to birth preparation that is ideal for those who have fears around birth.
- The Root of Toko: What If the Fear Didn’t Start With You? - 10th June 2025
- JJ’s Tokophobia and Its Hidden Impact on Creativity and Relationships - 3rd June 2025
- I Thought I Was Just “Anxious” — Then I Found the Real Root - 27th May 2025
